So what are the key ingredients of great sex you ask? Am I suggesting that great sex comes down to just a few simple ingredients? Yes. I know what you are thinking – here it comes – the answer to everyone’s sexual problems and the key to world peace. Ok, so maybe not world peace. These key ingredients aren’t actually things or a who, what, where, or when. The ingredients to great sex are a way of being. The ingredients to great sex are actually about the way we approach sex, our sexuality, and our sexual partner(s).
I know, get to it already. If you’re wanting me to hurry up and get to the point or feeling the impulse to jump to the end of this article to these ingredients, then I think you would benefit from a whole other blog topic. Give me a day I’ll come up with something. Possibly, “What’s the rush? Sexual impulse control for the hurried man or woman.” Or maybe reading my previous blog http://www.talksexwithliz.com/blog/orgasm-%E2%80%A6-just-the-period-at-the-end-of-a-sentence might help.
Seriously though, think back to a time long ago when you had great sex… for some of you this wasn’t so long ago and that’s awesome. For others, it was a long time ago and the closest thing you get to foreplay is my blog – sorry, I will try to write more often. Okay, really seriously now. Think about what has made up great sex for you in the past. Was a key ingredient the person you had sex with? Was it the place you had sex? Was it the positions you had sex in? These may have been some of the ingredients that made the sex great for you but were they common throughout each great sexual experience? Were they essential to what made the sex great? – Were they the flour in the cake? Were they the egg in the omelet? Typically, these items above are not necessarily key or essential items, they are important, and may bring back fond memories, but they are not typically the key ingredients to great sex!
The key ingredients – the sure fire way to make or break sex – are enthusiasm and confidence! If you have read my blogs before, you know your biggest sex organ is your brain. So if you are not into your partner or the sex – if you aren’t “feeling it,” the sex will be mediocre – whether you have all the ingredients I mentioned above or not.
Enthusiasm is contagious
If you are not enthusiastic about what you are up to in the bedroom, if you lack the excitement and interest in what you are doing, your partner can sense that, and you will both experience less pleasure. Our sexual partners feed off of our enthusiasm – it makes them feel good that you are interested and excited so they in-turn are more interested and excited and into you. When they feel desired they in turn have more desire for you. It’s contagious and cyclical.
Confidence is key
Confidence is important because if you are struggling with feeling confident about your sex appeal, desirability, or sexual prowess, you will APPEAR less attractive to your partner and ultimately BE less desirable to them. Over all the years I gave romance parties, taught romance, pole dancing, lap dancing, and even fabulous fellacio 101, I met many beautiful and attractive people who I thought could be very sexy, who actually couldn’t find their inner diva or stallion. They definitely lacked the confidence to pull off a sexy lap dance or a romantic interlude. Then again I also met many average looking people that kicked ass in the sexy department. They had enthusiasm about the pleasures of being sexual and they had the confidence to entice and excite not only themselves but their partners who in-turn mirrored that confidence and enthusiasm.
So there you have it. Even if you have a hot partner, a closet full of sex toys, the best sex swing on the market, or the body of a dancer or a Spartan, you’re not gonna have great sex without enthusiasm and confidence.